Local Man Goes Straight From Footy To Pub After A Quick Shower In A Can

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A time poor local man has squeezed the maximum amount of juice out of his Saturday evening, it can be confirmed. 

With the lid ripped off a couple of cold cans on a crisp winter’s evening, young Fergus Heal has made sure to keep the good times rolling by pulling out a handy little life hack following a gruelling game of footy. 

With a few schooners and a delightful parmi (not Parma you silly Southerners and Westerners) ahead of him, Heal has saved time with a trusty shower in a can. 

Pumping a generous amount of Gem into all the viral pong and stench emitting areas, Heal said he’s all about working harder not smarter. 

“Mate, look at the can, it’s literally called Freshly Showered,” laughed the bloke with a noticeable amount of mud and scraps on his limbs from the controversial Betoota Dolphins win this afternoon.  

“Sandalwood and Bergamot mate, get a whiff,” continued Heal to our reporter. 

“Yeah, Bergamot, ya like that don’t ya,” said Heal, looking rather pleased with himself and his botanical knowledge. 

“Mate Cologne quality this stuff. Don’t need anything else,” he laughed. 

“Besides the showers over there haven’t had hot water for a month, so I’m not getting underneath those Antarctic waters to wash off a bit of mud.”

Fishing another beer out of the esky, Heal said he’s never been an ice bath guy and he has no plans of starting now. 

“This stuff’s sweat resistant anyway,” he said, spraying a bit of Freshly showered in our direction. 

“And lasts 72 hours haha”

“So technically I’m fine till Monday,” he winked. 

“Now, are you coming with us to the pub or not.” 

More to come. 

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