Club Playmaker Cops A Spray For Skipping Weekend Footy To Propose To His Girlfriend
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT One of Betoota’s most exciting young halfbacks is expected to be sanctioned this
The Nation
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Albo Sighs And Tells A Local Constituent Yeah He Knows A Guy Who Can Torch A Captiva For $500
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Anthony Albanese said he was left in a pickle this morning after a constituent
Roosters Set To Sensationally Poach God From Scott Morrison’s Marketing Team
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After a relatively quiet few months, the Sydney Roosters are set to make a huge splash
Man Unable To Grow Decent Facial Hair Finally Gives Up Dream Of Becoming Craft Brewer
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT It was a sombre day in the Betoota Industrial Estate yesterday as would-be craft brewer Wallace
India Flight Ban Makes Sense, According To Government That Never Considered Banning US Flights
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government is tipped to ban all flights from India today as the country struggles
Albo’s Portuguese Mates At Marrickville Hardcourt Ask Him What’s The Go With Skippy Dickhead
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Opposition leader Anthony Albanese has today had to field questions from his constituents over the state
Receptionist Leaving Job At Small Town Council Replaced By Her Equally-As-Unqualified Sister
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The long-time receptionist at the Betoota Shire Council offices is moving on to a new role
Pivotal Redneck Conspiracist Vote Up For Grabs After Craig Kelly Gets Banned From Facebook
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia’s volatile anti-medicine/borderline Nazi voters are at a loss today, after their loudest supporter
Young Dad Who Hasn’t Left The House In 5 Years Nails Entire ‘Frozen’ Soundtrack At Karaoke
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local early-40s bloke with daughters has revealed himself to be an early-40s bloke with daughters
Michael Caton Snubbed By Oscars Yet Again After Groundbreaking Performance in Rams
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation’s greatest exports has revealed he’s been snubbed by the Motion
NSW Government Unveils Plans For New Parramatta City Raceway
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Motor Racing Enthusiasts have reacted with frustration after the NSW Government unveiled plans for a track
PM Reminds Australia It Wasn’t A Flash Day For The Turks On Gallipoli Either
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Prime Minister Scott Morrison has given the nation a much-needed ANZAC Day history lesson today. ANZAC
Lattes Wondering What They Did To Offend Conservatives
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Sitting alone in an inner city cafe, local latte Hugh Van Bean (names changed) wondered exactly