Report: You Can Get Into The Surf Club Wearing Aquatic Toe Shoes But Not These Tasteful Chanel Sandals
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A woman walked into the Lake Betoota Surf Life Saving Club last Friday evening wearing what
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Man Plans To Push The Boat Out And Perhaps Also Let Some Dogs Out Tonight In Case Spicy Cough Spreads North
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the almighty sky pangolin has not yet finished exacting it’s revenge upon this god-forsaken
NSW Labor Decide They Enjoy Being In Opposition Too Much To Ask Peter V’Landys To Be Leader
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NSW Labor leader Jodi McKay has announced her resignation following weeks of escalating pressure from within
Bloke Whose Favourite Movie Is Daredevil With Ben Affleck Not Impressed By Archibald Finalists
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The 52 lucky finalists for the 2021 Archibald Portrait Prize were unveiled yesterday morning at the
Acting Premier James Merlino Asks Why The South Australian City Of Mildura Is Also In Lockdown
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Rural City of Mildura has been plunged back into a lockdown this week along with
“Yeah I’ve Got The AstraZeneca, Just Leaving Mine Now” Scotty Texts Victoria, From The Shower
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorians are back in lockdown today, after four more community transmissions were picked up overnight, bringing
“Just A Vodka Coke Raspberry Thanks Mate” Says Newy Bloke Who Might Be Worth Steering Clear Of
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Newcastle bloke Joey Knight (29) has decided that he’s gonna lift off this evening,
PM Says He May Be Forced To Intervene In Rollout And Quarantine After Latest Victorian Flu Outbreak
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government may be forced to intervene in the roll-out of the spicy cough jab
Local Child Sinks Into Car Seat After Failing To Alert Mum Of Any Upcoming Servo Stations
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local child Jessie Manners had one job. One job and she fucked it. It’s said
QLD Government Purchases 100 Old Nokia Batteries To Sure Up State’s Electricity Supply
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Queensland Government has today announced it’s strongest commitment yet to future proofing the state’
Victoria Bids Thee Farewell To Ye Olde Renaissance Community As Melbourne Wench Tests Positive
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Government has bid thee farewell to Melbourne’s thriving medieval reenactment community, as the
Fitzroy Man Demands Melbourne Lockdown Victims Get A Medal And A Right To March On ANZAC Day
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A man from Melbourne’s hellish northside has tried his best to upset older Australians today
“I Don’t Know If You Really Understand How Bad Melbourne Was Last Year” Says Victorian Expat
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Melbourne records another 12 new community cases, five million residents are preparing once again to