Man Who Legitimately Injured Himself In Shower Wondering What Excuse He Should Actually Go With
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A 32-year-old French Quarter man is this week desperately trying to prove to his
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Brisbane Actually Wondering What The Fuck They’ll Do For Ten Years
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a sentence that still feels weird to type even after a good couple of fact
“No, Let The Bird Watch. He Needs To See What He’s Done,” Says Rugby CEO Hamish McLennan Clutching The Marketing Pigeon
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Assigning blame for the Wallabies’ dubious loss to the All Blacks last night in
“Okay. You Can Give It A Fucking Rest Now” Nation Tells ABC Suck-Ups
In case you have spent the last week fixing fences in the back of the Simpson desert, you might not
Paul Murray Overtakes Crystal Meth As #1 Cause Of Families Falling Apart
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a rare good news story, crystal meth has been demoted to second place as the
Lump Of Ice Cold Fermented Cow’s Milk Fails To Lubricate Excessively Dense Pub Wedges
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Known for being a pub delicacy that’s hard to polish off by yourself due to
Man Finds Himself Screaming “You Heavy Piece Of Fucking Shit!” At His Work-Issued Lenovo ThinkPad Again
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A city worker who brings great shame upon his employer by working from home
Ray Hadley Acting Like A 19-Year-Old Art Student Who Just Heard Someone Use The Wrong Pronouns
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Australian’s media obsession with impressing the British Royal family continues, it has become
“You Just Can’t Describe It” Says Corporate Woman Before Spending 2 Hours Describing Burning Man
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local woman is busy regaling tales of her travels this morning, to an
Rugby Australia’s Marketing Pigeon Takes The Month Off Because Melbourne Goes To Everything
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The pigeon that runs the entire marketing department at Rugby Australia has been given
“You Look Way Better Without Makeup” Says Supportive Boyfriend
INGRID DOULTON | Firearms | Contact A local man threw his support behind his domestic partner yesterday evening as they prepared to
Day 5 Of Rolling Australian News Coverage Confirms That The Queen’s Situation Has Not Improved
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia’s media are this week well and truly playing the role of a loyal backwater
Vegan Earth Child Prances Through Beautiful Canola Crop That’s Had More RoundUp Sprayed On It Than The MCG
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A social media personality from our town’s progressive French Quarter has broken protocol