Terrified Byron Hippy Sitting On A $25m Beach Shack Has No Fucken Idea What His Next Move Is
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Old man Spider Nucholls had forged himself a life where he was never going to have
The Nation
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Property Investors Say Falling House Prices Are The Worst Thing Because, Um, Because Of, Um…
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact At this year’s Property Investment Symposium at Betoota Lakes Conference Centre, well-respected property experts were
The Poorest Rich People Say Goodbye To Skiing For Another Year
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The poorest rich people in Australia have bid farewell to skiing for another year as the
Breaking News! Billionaire Says Something Dull And Then People Talk About It For Ages
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact This fine Masthead has had a long and storied past. Since its inception in the mid-1800’
Victorian Liberals To Defend Strongholds From Teal Candidates By Telling Everyone They Have Wives Who Are Lovely
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Liberals are bracing themselves for similar thumping experienced by their Federal peers at the
Hostie Asks Big Units In Exit Row If They Understand The Duty And Honour That Has Been Bestowed Upon Them
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As a bigger than average bloke, Betoota Heights-based club physio Matt ‘Mucka’ Marsden (38) understands that
Cyber Attack On Red Rooster Sees One Bloke From Cannon Hill Named Greg’s Data Leaked
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Another data breach has hit a well known Australian brand as Red Rooster suffers a cyber
Very Real Racist White Gangs Of Perth Getting Far Less Air Time Than Fictional African Gangs Of Melbourne
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some not so surprising news from newsrooms around the country, dangerous gangs of young white
Housemates Of Taylor Swift Fan Forced To Turn Off Mains Power After A Week Of Waterboarding
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A share-house in South Betoota has today been forced to take drastic action. After 7 days
Pubs To Roll Out Facial Recognition So They Can Identify Which Gamblers To Bring Spring Rolls
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota’s very own Betoota Heights Hotel has today made headlines for signing up to a
Mosman Cops Reveal They Had The Biggest Boners Over Possibility Of Shooting A Couple Lions 
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Cops in the sleepy Lower North Shore of Sydney have today revealed that they woke up
Anti-Racing Activist Up And At Work By 6am For The First Time In Their Life
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In a perfect world, Bob Hawke and Steve Irwin would come down from the heavens and
Group Of Mates Choose Dog-Friendly Pub Today Because Dog Who Doesn’t Share His Tips Is Coming
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A group of young men looking for a place to sit and enjoy their sick day