Woman’s Suitcase From Long Weekend Spent Away To Stay Packed On Bedroom Floor For Weeks
SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT Sophie Hyer (28) returned home at around 9pm last night from a long weekend spent wine
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Godfreys Collapse Leaves Man Wondering If His Bagless Dyson Cunnavathing Could Suck A Bowling Ball Off The Ground
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Iconic vacuum cleaner retailer Godreys has entered administration today after many years of running on the
“Foreign Tradies Are Shit” Says Tradie Signing Off On New Build That’s Got More Defects Than A 10-Year-Old French Bulldog
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local tradesman has mocked suggestion that bringing in foreign tradies under a skilled migrant visa
Dutton Says Him Staying The Hell Away From Dunkley Is A Political Stunt Aimed At Winning By-Election
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Opposition leader Peter Dutton says he has no plans to visit the Division of Dunkley in
Liberal Party Powerbrokers Reveal Tony Abbott’s Entire Government Was Ruined By A Silly Woman Of Course
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Viewers of the ABC’s Nemesis program have this week been left shaking their heads at
News Teams Search Cyclone Damage For Funny Queenslanders Who Might Say Something Fucked On Camera
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A major network news team is salvaging the wreckage of Cyclone Kirrily today as
Woman Who Used To Put Toothpaste On Her Pimples Stares Blankly At 10 Year Old Niece Asking For Retinol
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A millennial woman has this week been left clutching at her pearls, after her ten year
Dutton Furious With Biased ABC For Letting Coalition Heavyweights Talk Shit About Each Other And Explain How Hopeless They Are In New 3-Part Documentary
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With nothing really to talk about since he made the active decision to undermine the 2022
Doja Cat Wonders If The Hottest 100 Is Another YouTube Show Featuring Spicy Food
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT In a not so unfamiliar mix-up that highlights the cultural delusion many Australians have about their
Recent Cyclone So Far North That Albo’s Stylist Considers Swapping Byron Akubra For Proper Stetson
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT You wouldn’t know her name, but you’ve been seeing the work of
Patriot Sleeps Soundly After Giving It To Woke Cummins On The Face Book
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights retiree has spoken of the deep, restorative sleep he received last night after
DJ At Brisbane’s Cloudland Forced To Play Sean Paul For 12 Hours Straight As Windies Roll Through
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A music industry professional has this weekend been forced to put in quite a shift. Bowen
“Women’s Tennis Is Reserve Grade” Says 24 Match WAFL Superstar
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT OFF TO A CRACKING START BAZ: The entire Western Australian media establishment are today rushing to