Report: You Can Get Into The Surf Club Wearing Aquatic Toe Shoes But Not These Tasteful Chanel Sandals
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A woman walked into the Lake Betoota Surf Life Saving Club last Friday evening wearing what
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Bloke Rocking NRL Jersey Over Hoodie Acting a Little Bulletproof
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT A shit stirrer by trade, Jackson Wishart has spent his young life searching for
Lord Of The Rings Dad And Harry Potter Mum Fight Over What Fantasy Franchise Their Kids Will Be Raised On
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Betoota Heights couple have reached a bit of a stalemate this week, after an argument
Introvert Begins Lowering Standards As Search Continues For Clinic That Has A ‘Book Online’ Option
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman has today decided that she’d much rather put herself out by booking
Local Woman Under False Impression That She Has Her Shit Together After Getting Her Nails Done
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact After finally doing something about the severely chipped nail polish she’d been sporting for two
Good Looking Person Unfortunately Also Very Nice And Accomplished
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact In some disappointing news, Betoota Heights local Jesse Huberman has been found to not only be
Restless Instagram It-Girl Somehow Getting Fomo From Olympic Village Parties
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local online socialite has conceded that she is experiencing FOMO from the Olympic village. Despite
Kmart Really Tempting Starving Uni Students By Placing Checkout As Far Away From Exit As Possible
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT K-mart has admitted that they place their checkout as far away from the exit as possible
Local Man’s Decadent Western Body Incompatible With Uniqlo
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local city worker has let curiosity get the better of him again this week as
Queensland Dad’s Intense 3 Hours Of Yard Work Followed By 1 Mid-Strength And Nap On Kitchen Tiles
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A long-awaited morning of intense cardio has taken place in Betoota Heights today, as one husky
Local Man Reburies Weapons Cache As World Markets Begin To Stabilise
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Betoota Grove father Terry Douglas has just finished reburying the weapons cache he keeps in the
REX Says They’re Putting Their Old Saabs On Inter-City Routes To Keep Putting The Dog Up Qantas And Virgin Because Fuck Them
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Regional Express (REX) is bouncing back from having their Boeings repossessed by the bank last week
Government Reminds Taxpayers It’s Boomers Spending the Kids’ Inheritance Fuelling Inflation, Not Gargantuan Corporate Profiteering
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The government has clarified that the our stubborn inflation rates are primarily due to the spending