NRL Fans Gather Like Medieval Peasants To Watch A Public Execution Of The Dragons
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The clock tower bells of Brisbane are ringing this afternoon as the city prepares
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Exhausted Man Writhing Around In Bed At 4AM Not Quite Tired Enough To Periodically Check Phone
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite his best effort, Damien Cottonwell didn’t get much rest last night. A heavy Carbonnara
Local Drug Dealer Confirms He’s Here For A Good Time Not A Long Time With Matte Finish On M3
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture| CONTACT Betoota’s top drug dealer, Jyleigh Barron, has been elusive to local police for the 10
Everyone Shut Up! The Single Gal Will Now Visually Recount Her Most Recent Root With A Real Man
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A group of five girlfriends have been told to shut the fuck up this evening, because
Punter Who Bet On Number Of Corners During World Cup Last Night Could Stop Now If He Wanted To
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |Contact Oliver Braddon has assured The Advocate this morning that he could stop gambling literally anytime he
Report: Uncle Boof’s Been Playing Up Again
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by everyone at a Schultz family barbecue has found that Uncle Boof might
Team Passing Drill Throw A Curve Ball As Prop Cheekily Handballs The Steeden
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact If fourth-grade suburban rugby league is the sport of kings – Paddy O’Connor is certainly the
Sickening Chemical Odours Wafting Out Into Arcade Suggest This Nail Salon Might Be The One
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local nail salon in Betoota’s inner-city suburb of Roma Hills has been rated as
4-Hour Drive Confirms New Girlfriend Is Not Quite On Beyonce’s Level Yet
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Betoota Hills robot, Colin Dominican (29) thought his newish life partner, Sandra Wentworth (28), had it
Grease Medley Megamix Saves Boring Wedding
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A Betoota Ponds wedding has been saved from being a completely lacklustre affair with the DJ
Hungover Recount Of Last Night Unable To Identify When Now Weeping Cigarette Burn Happened
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Local Betoota Quarryman and all-round piss cutting legend, Jeronimo Regalé, has this morning had some trouble
Study Finds Fresh Plant Horses Should Be Right After A Few Neck Rubs
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent survey conducted by the Australian Stock Horse Association (ASHA) has found that fresh plant
Bilingual Mate Asked To Showcase His Second Language After Three Schooners
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “Hey Christian,” bellowed Christan’s oldest mate from the office, Dave. “Come over here and speak