Good Grandson Lies And Says Grandma Seemed Normal During Recent Visit
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man has this week provided his mother with a heavily sanitised
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Quaint Local Woman Knows Nobody At Work Will Question Her Pulling A Sickie For Violent Spitty Bum
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact As she delays her alarm by another fifteen minutes, Michelle Park tries to muster the courage
Local Craft Beer Festival Nowhere Near As Fun As When You Used To Pump 14 Cruisers In This Park As A Teenager
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Fuck me. Freya Halliday has stupidly agreed to go to a beer festival. Not just any
“Better Turn Them” Says Bloke Who Rocked Up To BBQ With Bag Of Natural Corn Chips And Two Beers
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A well manicured lawn in Betoota’s Flight Path District is reported to have hosted a
Buckingham Palace Forgets To Send Funeral Invitation To The Publican At Betoota’s Royal Hotel
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Thousands of international dignitaries have today descended upon Britain to honour the life of Queen Elizabeth
New Mum Who Carried Baby For 9 Months Settles On ‘Fergus’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The word is out amongst millenials and having kids is officially cool, provided you give them
Recently Dumped Bloke Fails To Heal Crippling Heartbreak With New Found NFL Fandom
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke is looking to mend a broken heart this week as he
Childhood Film To Fix Sunday Morning Lack Of Serotonin
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As physics has long dictated, what goes up must come down. Last night, previously reformed party
IT Guy At Work Begins Two Week Mourning Period Following Discontinuation Of Lift
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As a black veil continues to hang heavy over the head of monarchists, others are dealing
Woo Girls Who Got On It A Bit Too Hard Take Turns Having A Massive Sob At 3am Kickons
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A group of very silly sausages have last weekend flown too close to the sun, which
Farm Worker Gets Paid In Cash After Landing Lucrative Agricultural Job At Cash Farm
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With Australian farmers offering to pay workers in accommodation and produce, one farm seems to have
Pre-Exam Student Chewing Her Gum Like It Holds The Secrets To A Semester Worth Of Missed Classes
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A student at the South Betoota Polytechic has given her jaw a workout for the ages
Goldfish Comes Home In Plastic Bag That Will Outlast Fish By 150,000,000 Years
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A household got a new member today at the exact same time planet Earth got a