Club Playmaker Cops A Spray For Skipping Weekend Footy To Propose To His Girlfriend
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT One of Betoota’s most exciting young halfbacks is expected to be sanctioned this
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“They’re Lazy And Stupid People, They Are,” Says Sheep Farmer Of His Repugnant Cattle Farming Neighbour
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local grazier has told The Advocate that he has a dim view of people who
Grandparents Unanimously Agree Living Room Could Do With Another Loud Ticking Clock
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An elderly couple have today agreed to add another loud ticking clock to their living room,
Local Man Whose Cheating Ruined A 20-Year Marriage Repairs Reputation By Getting Extremely Stacked
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 24-hour gym franchise located next a row of newly-built Townhouses in Betoota Heights has played
Bloke Dating A Girl From Northern England Says Goodbye To His White Sheets
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke who just started dating an English girl has unfortunately had to give up ever
Flat Toilet Roll Dispenser Great For Snorting Cocaine And One Million Streams Of E Coli
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A couple of woo girls have this week inadvertently lined their nasal cavities with faecel matter,
Unemployed Millionaire’s Son Confidently Announces Plan To Revolutionise Industry He’s Never Worked In
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A 23 year old bloke from Betoota’s French Quarter district has this week proudly declared
Oh No! Family In Panic Mode As Retired Boomer Graduates From Lotto Tickets To Scratchies
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT POKIES AREN’T FAR OFF NOW: A Betoota family is on high alert as retired mum
SuperCoach Just The Bloke Version Of Playing The Sims
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman sick of copping shit for loving the Sims has this week lashed out at
Cost Of Living Crisis: Nation’s Mums Can Only Afford Half Kilo Of Mince They Have No Plans For Yet
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The world you grew up in is dead but not in the cool Tupac way where
Inner-City Leftie Furious That Hazard Reduction Fires Have Caused Off-Season Hay Fever
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Spring has come to Betoota as hazard reduction fires have brought a rare off-season hay fever
Dog That Was Meant To Protect Family From Crime Wave Asks Burglar To Play Frisbee
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Like any bloke insecure about his need to provide income and protection to his family, Betoota
IOC Finally Gives NZ A Chance To Win Medals Outside Women’s Power Throwing, Adds Manu Bombs To Diving Events
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The International Olympic Committee has announced a groundbreaking decision to add manu bombs to the Olympic