“I Don’t Know Any Of These People” Says Millennial Man Who Has Stuck To Unchanged Playlist Since 2019

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A 33 year old man from Betoota’s flight path district has spent the last week complaining to anyone that’ll listen that all of the recently released festival lineups kind of suck. 

Brenton Hughes says there’s no chance he’ll be forking out a grand to camp in the bush and smuggle copious amounts of liquor into some random festival this year. He’s over it. 

“When did music festivals get so shit?? Black Eyed Peas is pretty cool, like ok I won’t lie, but I don’t even know anyone else. Hilltop Hoods would be way better than this shit.” 

Brenton, who says music reached its ultimate peak when Kendrick released ‘DAMN.’ has hardly experimented much with his taste since. 

In the last 9 years, he’s added a total of 3 songs to his ‘Brenton’s Bangerzzz’ playlist. 

Aside from that, he’s about 15 years older than the target demographic of Australian music festivals. At least according to head organiser of Betoota’s New Years Bash, Birdy Miles, that is.  

“We’ve had a few heated comments on facebook, saying we’ve gone downhill, and what’s this bla bla. But it’s like…. Ok,” she said. 

“We don’t really care. The 18 year olds are going to attend either way. The 30 year olds are always a gamble. So eh.”

“Plus, not to sound like someone's mum, but maybe focus on getting the knee dirty, and I don’t mean by crouching in a sweaty crowd to empty a yoghurt packet filled with vodka into your mouth.”

More to come.