Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 983)
Report: At Least There’s Less Charity Muggers Out And About
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As half of the nation continues to live in lockdown, some Australians are focussing on the
Lifelong Bond Forged As Kid Quietly Slips Vegetables Under The Table
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Local child Delia Housten has tried a number of tactics to avoid vegetables. Hiding them under
Target Employee Briefly Peers Into Potential Shoplifter’s Bag Before Resuming Vacant Stare Into Distance
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A target floor manager has today been spotted staring into the abyss, just two hours into
Decision To Avoid Late Night Kebab Cancels Out 4000 Calories Worth Of Alcohol
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT When it comes to reaching your mid-twenties, one of the worst parts is losing the
WEEKLY: Instagram’s Bread Drought, Gerry Harvey Hits Up Centrelink, Joe Rogan Fans Silenced & More – September 3
Clancy Overell, Errol Parker and Wendell Hussey wrap up all the biggest stories from the week – live from the Desert Rock FM studio in downtown Betoota.
Man Just Popping Over To Mate’s Place To Check On Him With Carton Of Piss And Two Fresh Decks
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact State governments around the nation are beginning the arduous process of untangling the lockdown
“Get Out Gerry!” Shouts Centrelink Receptionist As Billionaire Approaches Desk For A New Rort
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The embattled public servant working the front desk at Gold Coast Centrelink has finally cracked the
‘Shit’ Sighs Fully Grown Human Being Who Has Forgotten Father’s Day’s This Weekend, Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In an ever-changing world of shifting realities, it can be revealed today that some things
QLD To Wait Until 80% Of Their Population Is Immune To Scotty’s Bullshit Before Border Opens
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NUMBERS ARE LOOKING GOOD: Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said the state’s reporting of zero new cases
“Hello, I Am Victor Radley’s Wife. Please Let Me In,” Says Queenslander Just Trying To Get Home
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Toowoomba man who’s been trying to get home for weeks has been
Joe Rogan Fan To Pause All Of His Staunch Opinions On Modern Medicine For The Next Week Or So
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT MIXED MEDICAL ARTS: A local carnivore from Betoota’s aspirational suburban wedge known as Betoota Heights
Government To Make Dying From The Virus Illegal In An Effort To Combat Impending Deaths
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has put the nation’s poor, sick, old and, disabled people