Report: It’s Never Coming Home
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Never ever. Hahahaha. After 60 long years of carry on, the English have once again proven
Latest news (Page 441)
Stocky Mate With Short Beard DOES NOT Appreciate Jokes About Him Resembling A Certain Liberal Staffer
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A portly local man who gets his barber to trim his dense facial hair into a
Office With Mostly Female Staff Estimated To Have A 45 Minute Wait Time For The Kitchen Tap In The Morning
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke who’s just made the switch to working in public relations has found himself
Local Youth Just Hoping He Gets A Couple Of Weeks To Play GTA6 Before Prime Minister Dutton Conscripts Him To Fight In Iran
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Local Betoota youth Colin Myers (24) has been fervently praying for just a “good week or
Cost-Of-Living Sees Sharehouse Dishwashing Liquid Watered Down For Third Time This Month
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An empty bottle of dishwashing liquid has been given a second life tonight as
Bettina Arndt Attempts To Lure Bruce Lerhmann As A Guest Speaker With Traditional Channel 7 Method
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Writer/fake clinical psychologist and ultimate ‘Pick me’ girl Bettina Ardnt has been left scrambling this
Young Bloke Just Flat Out Watching A Show While He’s Walking Somewhere
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A group of pub patrons has marvelled this afternoon seeing a young bloke walking
Nation Demands That Albo Confirms Whether New Local Manufacturing Plan Will Bring Back The Maloo
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Albanese Government is proposing a return to the era of Australian-made manufacturing that officially
Public Figure That Spent Last Week Talking About Mass Killings For Political Points Probably Needs To Shut Up Right Now
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation’s Federal Opposition Leader has today been issued a polite request from his staffers
Best Distraction From Current News Cycle Found To Be Getting Pissed Under A Timber Queenslander And Listening To Violent Soho
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With endless misery and tragedy in the local news cycle, escalating global conflicts, and a noisy
New Double Peaches The Best Japanese Invention To Make It To Australia Since Chicken And Avo Sushi
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Land of The Rising Sun has done it again, it can be confirmed today. Japan,
Big Chungus Spends Millions To Make Sure Everyone Knows He Raped Someone
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A big chungus has used millions of dollars of other people’s money to
Nation’s Coke Dealers And Erotic Massage Parlours Lose A Valuable Revenue Stream
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Right across the Australia today, white knuckles have overcome the gentle hands of erotic masseuses.