"You Call This Gay!?" Broken Hill Man Left Underwhelmed By So-Called LGBTI Capital Of Sydney

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Broken Hill cattleman, Kyal Merkel (42), says after all this carry on - he really expected Sydney's Oxford street to be bit more gayer than it was.

Ahead of a weekend of staunchly heterosexual activities, including an NRL match and a few long lunches with some beef exporters, Kyal said it was probably worth taking in some tourism.

What he found, in the heart of one the world's purported LGBTI capitals, was fairly underwhelming.

"Where's the glitter!? he asked.

"Where is the needlessly flamboyant wallpaper? Do they even have a roller hockey club in this town?"

As a bloke born and raised in the Silver City in the years after Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Kyal says every white collar man and woman he's ever met has been a homosexual.

"Plenty of blue collars too. Mostly the Lesbians of course"

After pulling into Sydney a few days early to settle some affairs with buyers, Kyal found himself poking around Darlinghurst looking for a happy hour. And as he's learnt over the years, nobody does a cheaper schooner than a gay dive bar.

"Thought I may as well see how they do it in the big smoke" he said.

However, even with the rainbow pedestrian crossing and a couple posters of shirtless blokes, Kyal says he feels stitched up.

"Where are the drag queens? Broken Hill is far more camp than this sleepy shit hole"

"I know it's only Thursday but you could bet your bottom dollar you'd see a few of these old girls floating round Mario's Palace of a weeknight."

"Tranny Trivia is entry level. The Broken Hill queens will turn up for a badge draw. Don't get me started on the two up"

As a straight man with a fairly rugged look, Kyal says he's used to his country charm being perceived as intense homosexual flirting. But he can't even get a bloke to shout him a drink in this city.

"Mate... I'm starting to think everyone's full of shit. I keep asking what's on tonight and everyone tells me this place is dead until Mardi Gras..."

"Never thought I'd be the closest thing to queer in Sydney. These old prudes would faint if they ever caught a glimpse of Broken Heel"