Victorian Labor Announce Plan To Subsidise Monster Zero In Last Ditch Election Pitch

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

The Victorian election is just around the corner and the Labor government's 13 year old birthday party is under serious threat. 

For Labor there are three big C’s that will likely see them come unstuck; cost of living, crime and corruption. 

But Premier Ben Carroll is going down swinging announcing yet another cost of living relief measure at a packed press conference in Melbourne.

“Good morning everyone, just a reminder I am not Daniel Andrewes. Now to business.”

“Tradies are the back bone of the Victorian economy, they removed the level crossings, they built the trains stations and they are building the homes that Victorians need”“And that is why today I am announcing that my government will subsidise the cost of Monster Zero for all tradies,” he said. 

Victorian Treasury modelling estimates the plan could save tradies billions. 

However, it remains unclear how exactly the subsidy will be funded. 

One press gallery member accused the Premiere of attempting to buy votes which he promptly shut down.

“If we wanted to buy votes we’d keep public transport free or make it 50c like some governments I know”

“This is a measured, calculated and costed way to make sure our trades men and women are caffeinated on the work sight in a way that is sugar free”Another journalist asked if other varieties of monster would be subsidized but was made to feel pretty stupid for asking it. 

“Sounds like a question from someone who has never been on a work site”“Monster Zero is the tradies choice, low calorie, zero sugar"

“And that’s the flavour that will fuel the continuous growth of our great state,” he said. 

More to come.