One Nation’s Vote Collapses As Gen X Men Get Exactly What They Want From This Life

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

Political pundits are in a tailspin this week as new research suggests that One Nation might be done for.

The news comes as fresh focus group research has uncovered that hoards of Gen X males are starting to feel more mentally balanced, and favorable to their original Liberal, Labour or National camps, thanks in part to a blast of new music tour news.

Speaking to Mark Nguyen from RedDot Research, latest polls have suggested support for One Nation has halved in recent weeks, because disassociated 35 year old males across the country have stopped dissolving their brain with their algorithms, and instead feel warm and fuzzy with the news their favourite bands are making a comeback.

“We first noticed a dip back in August, when Good Things announced Limp Bizkit was coming to Australia. 79% of the Gen X males we spoke to seemed to find real comfort in seeing Fred Durst in their algorithms.”

“We’ve been able to conduct brain scans on 100 males, and when you put Fred Durst vs Trump on a phone screen, both wearing red hats, the dopamine flooding the mesocortical pathway is 10 times more potent with Durst.”

With Bon Jovi, Queens of the Stone Age, The Fooeys and Kings of Leon all performing tours in the next six months, researchers say One Nation could be in for a bumpy ride.

“The last few years, the average 38 year old One Nation aligned male scored off the charts in terms of life dissatisfaction, and community engagement, they kept telling us they weren’t being listened to.”

“But now they’d got the chance to bash heads with one another in a mosh pit on a stinking hot day, similar to how they used to do at The Big Day Out, it’s like wrapping a baby in their comfort blanket.”

“Wait til they start buying tickets to the WWE which is coming in December, some might be feeling so relaxed again they’d be partial to vote for the Greens.”

More to come.