ERROL PARKER |Editor-at-large | Contact

As the world burns down around them, scientists from the nation’s peak scientific body have made a breakthrough today as they announced the discovery of the only Subaru Outback in the country that doesn’t have a national parks pass stuck on the windscreen.

The late-model version of the iconic sports wagon in question was spotted by Professor Lawrence Greenhaum of the CSIRO as he was doing his afternoon shop in Canberra.

After doing a small amount of research, which he says was all he had funding for, Professor Greenhaum concluded that it must be the only one in the country that doesn’t have one.

“I checked all the windows and nope,” he said.

“Nothing. It even had ACT rego. You’d think someone who bought an Outback and lived in Canberra would at least go skiing? And what’s the point of going skiing if you don’t have the Kosciuszko Park permit sticker on the windscreen all year for people to see?”

“This is truly incredible. They must be public servants from Queensland or something. Somewhere where supporting the national parks would get your windows broken. Around Rockhampton? What do you reckon?”

The Subaru Outback has long been the go-to vehicle for the active outdoorsy youth with a high disposable income, which makes this discovery all the more special for Professor Greenhaum.

“I’m was half tempted to sit around and wait for the owner to come, just so I could eyeball the freak,” he said.

“But I ran out of funding.”

More to come.


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