In some breaking news from Canberra this morning, the nation’s Prime Minister has revealed that Australian organisations are currently being targeted by a sophisticated foreign “state-based” hacker.

“This activity is targeting Australians organisations across a range of sectors, including all levels of government, industry, political organisations, education, health, essential service providers and operators of other critical infrastructure,” he said.

Morrison then explained that the attack occurred this morning a short time after he tried to install some antivirus software.

“I fucked up,” he sighed.

“I’m sorry. I got one of those flashing pop-ups saying my computer was riddled with viruses and that if I downloaded the software it would fix it,” continued the man stung by a scam that has affected 92% of the nation’s over 50s.

He then refused to say why he thought he might have viruses, or what he’d been looking at when the virus notification popped up.

“I’m not going to answer that,” he huffed.

“But we know it is a sophisticated state-based cyber actor because of the scale and nature of the targeting and the tradecraft used.”

“And it was bloody sophisticated the way they got us,” explained Morrison who has had to change all of his passwords this morning.

“I full-on thought it was legit”

“Anyway lives and learns.”

Morrison said that he believes personal data is currently safe, but they are working their way through the attack which definitely wouldn’t have come from a country we are having a big diplomatic blue with.

“I’ll keep you up to date throughout the day as this unfolds.”


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