ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The City Of Melbourne, currently stricken with the deadly coronavirus, has proven themselves again to be two weeks ahead of Sydney after their unique strain of the virus starts to take hold in Australia’s other city.

Sydney is on the precipice of a second wave coronavirus outbreak, two weeks after they were laughing at the Victorians going through the same thing.

Now that Sydney is all but guaranteed to go back into lockdown this Friday, the age-old adage that Melbourne is two weeks ahead of the most overrated shithole in the Southern Hemisphere (even worse than Cape Town), has proven itself to be correct once again.

“First it was laneways,” said one odd-looking Melbourne ex-pat with the trademark small teeth and huge gums that all Victorian people have.

“Then it was light rail slash trams,”

“Now it’s the second wave coronavirus. Tell me I’m wrong. One thing Queensland has going for it right now is that it’s always been twenty years behind Melbourne so I guess they can count themselves lucky right now.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here