WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

Sam Masters has wowed a couple of friends today with his stupidity.

The young accountant did so after an rather innocuous purchase a local convenience store in the French Quarter this afternoon.

The run of the mill purchase of an ice-cream seemed normal enough, however the group were left frowning after Masters’ method of consumption.

“He pulled the Maxibon out of the packet and started eating the biscuit side first,” explained one of his friends.

“Look, I got a red dot for my Year 12 certificate so I’m not exactly a Malcolm fucking Turnbull type, but I’m smart enough to know that you don’t eat one of those things biscuit side first,” said the friend.

The sandwich style ice cream made up of a biscuit side and a chocolate side is usually eaten chocolate side first in an effort to avoid the chocolate melting on your fingers and getting everywhere.

“Yeah, he just ploughed through like nothing was up,” said another friend.

“And then looked down in disbelief when he is fat little fingers became covered in chocolate after two bites.”

“Honestly, at that moment of self reflection he looked liked he hap chopped two decades off his age. Like a grubby little toldler.”

The group of friends said they berated Masters within a couple of bites in an effort to educate him.

“And rightly so,” said another member of the group.

“Eating the chocolate side first is like putting the onion on before the sausage at Bunnings, it’s just the way it is.”

“It’s common sense.”

Masters refused to comment on the issue but acknowledged that he would look at his behaviour going forward.


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