Mysterious Blank Envelope Not A Secret Love Letter, Just Another Magnet From A Plumber
VICKI DERWENT | Lifestyle | CONTACT In the age of social media marketing some small businesses are stripping their strategies right back
The Nation
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Dusty Woman’s 12 Hour GOT Catchup Marathon Interrupted Briefly By Food Delivery Driver
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local woman who has been a little bit Slim Dusty today, has just had her
Healthy Harold Quietly Whips Out The Mouth Wash After Getting Pulled Over
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact The country’s authority on healthy lifestyles and the puppet responsible for teaching primary school kids
Hometown Queen Bee Transitions From Selling Vitamins To This Cool New Thing Called Loom
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former high school popular chick, Hayley Giteau (32) has today popped back into the newsfeed with
Mainstream Brewery Gives Out Free Hat They Hope Will Become Ironically Cool In 20 Years
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact A marketing executive at mainstream brewery “Boggs” has been labelled as a marketing genius after they
Clive Saddened To Learn Shea Butter Body Lotion Doesn’t Taste Half As Good As It Smells
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime ministerial hopeful and latchkey Victorian, Clive Palmer, fronted reporters this afternoon with a
Terrified Barista Informs Peter Dutton That They’ve Run Out Of The Blood Of Detained Refugees
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Strathpine hospitality worker has today been left with the gruelling task of informing Peter Dutton
Retired Inner-City Boomer’s Red Framed Glasses Key Indicator Of GetUp Membership
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Red-framed reading glasses atop an inner-city sexagenarian’s head has been found
Assange Screams In Anguish As Embassy Staff Throw Out His Beloved Townsville Crocs Singlet
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact “You fucking savages!” “Noooooo!” Late last night local time, popular internet activist Julian Assange
Government Insults The Gays One Last Time And Calls Election On Same Weekend As Eurovision
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In one, and potentially final, insult to the LGBTQI community, the Liberal-National Coalition government has
NRL Players Advised To Win An Oscar If They Want To Stay Out Of Trouble
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The mouth-breathing working class morons who play that neckless brand of ‘sportsball’ for a living
Jesus Christ Confirms He Disowned Israel Folau When He Stopped Playing God’s Winter Game
SEB SEABASS| Game Day | Contact The Son of God, Jesus Christ, has put controversial code-hopping sportsball player Israel Folau
Scientists Release First Ever Image Of Federal Government’s Balance Sheet For NBN Roll-Out
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In some exciting news for the science world, the first ever image of a black hole