Escalating Tensions In Middle East Causes Local Dad To Tell Daughters To Go Fill Up A Tank Right Now!
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local dad has today let his dad instincts take over. Graham Poulter (63) from our
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PM Give Press Club Address: “Not Far From Here, Scum Journalists Like You Are Met With Bullets”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minster Scotty From Marketing has today had strips torn from him by the National Press
Queenslanders Call For A Foreign Ownership Ban On Property Investors From Down South
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As property prices continue to surge around the country, the Sunshine State has today asked our
Nation Urged To Take Into Account That Kyng Has Been Up For Three Days
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australians are being urged to take into account today that Australian Open doubles champion Nick Krygios
Girlfriend Expects MAFS/Euphoria Marathon Will Keep Her Up Even Later Than Nadal/Medvedev Did
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman has tonight kicked her boyfriend out of the lounge room, for a back
“Now Isn’t A Good Time, My King,” Says PM As Brian Houston Asks Where His OAM Is This Year
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has been forced to duck questions from his greatest mentor this week as
Channel 9 Producers Worry MAFS Won’t Be Able To Top Last Two Weeks Of Confrontational Tantrums
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of the nation’s major television networks has today revealed that they are seriously concerned
Joe Rogan Fan Says Fuck Neil Young… Sweet Caroline Is Overrated Anyway
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A Joe Rogan fan has today announced that he reckons that old coot can get fucked
Scomo Picks Up His Battered Copy Of ‘The Game’ In Effort To Appeal To Women Come Election Time
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Prime minister Scott Morrison is alleged to have sifted through his bottom drawer for his copy
PM Begs State Leaders To Re-Introduce Mask Mandate So Young Women Can’t Be Seen Glaring At Him
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Australian media recoils from a big week of pearl-clutching after the former Australian Of
NT Government Asks For Federal Interven… Uh…. Assistance With Food Shortages
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Supermarkets across the Top End are empty because of flooding in South Australia and Queensland. The
Unknown Indie Band From Fitzroy Announce They Too Will Be Taking Their 5 Track EP Off Spotify
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An indie band from Fitzroy have today announced that they too, will be removing their tracks
Phone That Previously Survived A Two Storey Fall Shattered After Being Awkwardly Sat On
EFFIE BATEMAN | LIFESTYLE | CONTACT A woman’s iPhone has today been irreparably damaged, despite having had much worse done to