Rumours Swirl In Country Town That Driving Test Officer Will Pass You For A Case
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Some good old fashioned bribery is set to take today as a young L-
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Government Swears They’ll Pull Fossil Fuels Companies Into Line, They’ll Do It, Swear To God
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The people in charge of the country have this week confirmed that they are still trying
Pale White Boy Rocking Etnies Skate Shoes Either Computer Science Teacher or Ice Dealer
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An avid PC gamer is keeping Betoota locals on their toes this morning, given
‘Gamble Responsibly’ To Be Replaced By ‘Feed Your Fucking Kids’ Under New Regulations
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The poorest rich people in Australia have bid farewell to skiing for another year as the
Property Investors Say Falling House Prices Are The Worst Thing Because, Um, Because Of, Um…
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact At this year’s Property Investment Symposium at Betoota Lakes Conference Centre, well-respected property experts
The Poorest Rich People Say Goodbye To Skiing For Another Year
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The poorest rich people in Australia have bid farewell to skiing for another year as the
Breaking News! Billionaire Says Something Dull And Then People Talk About It For Ages
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact This fine Masthead has had a long and storied past. Since its inception in the mid-
Victorian Liberals To Defend Strongholds From Teal Candidates By Telling Everyone They Have Wives Who Are Lovely
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Liberals are bracing themselves for similar thumping experienced by their Federal peers at the
Hostie Asks Big Units In Exit Row If They Understand The Duty And Honour That Has Been Bestowed Upon Them
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As a bigger than average bloke, Betoota Heights-based club physio Matt ‘Mucka’ Marsden (38) understands
Cyber Attack On Red Rooster Sees One Bloke From Cannon Hill Named Greg’s Data Leaked
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Another data breach has hit a well known Australian brand as Red Rooster suffers a cyber
Very Real Racist White Gangs Of Perth Getting Far Less Air Time Than Fictional African Gangs Of Melbourne
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some not so surprising news from newsrooms around the country, dangerous gangs of young white
Housemates Of Taylor Swift Fan Forced To Turn Off Mains Power After A Week Of Waterboarding
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A share-house in South Betoota has today been forced to take drastic action. After 7
Pubs To Roll Out Facial Recognition So They Can Identify Which Gamblers To Bring Spring Rolls
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota’s very own Betoota Heights Hotel has today made headlines for signing up to a