Australia Urgently Sends Tubby Taylor To France On Diplomatic Posting As Europe Endures Brutal Heatwave
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After three consecutive days of a record-breaking heatwave in France, Australia has moved quickly to
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Sky News Uncle Drafts Two Equally Unhinged Text Messages For Each Election Outcome
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the U.S. election count begins this afternoon Queensland Channel Country Time (QCCT)
Broken Racegoer Abandons His $49 Tarocash Loafers And Continues Journey Into City Barefoot
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After squinting his way through Ronan Keating’s performance and scanning a losing ticket
Report: At The End Of The Day, Aren’t We All Just Animals Being Exploited By The Rich? 😏
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who’s chosen to say nup to the cup because the racing industry is
Office Piss Wrecks And Office Animal Lovers Prepare For Day Of Sabotage And Betrayal
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT Offices around the country are preparing for a day filled with deceit, sabotage, and betrayal not
Woke 94-Year-Old Refuses To Participate In Regional Nursing Home’s Melbourne Cup Luncheon
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact In news from our humble regional centre, an enlightened great-grandmother is making a
As Halloween Concludes, Henchmen Are Sent Into North Pole Dungeons To Retrieve Mariah And Michael
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. This comes as the festival of single-
Betoota Advocate Accepts Annual Million Dollar Cheque From Gambling Lobby To Not Talk Shit About Cup
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT CLIENT WIN: The entire Betoota Advocate staffroom has today taken Monday afternoon off, after receiving its
Nup To The Cup? Here Are Some Alternative Horse Races That You Can Bet On Tomorrow
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact For those who think the Melbourne Cup might be a bit too mainstream, or
“There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, Unless You Were Born Between 1952-1971” Says Coalition
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation’s Opposition have kicked off the week by living up to their name today,
Major Changes To HECS And TAFE Fees Drowned Out By Journos Fixating On Where PM Sits On The Plane
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In a major policy announcement that is struggling to get any airtime in an Australian news
Senator Pocock Voices Concerns Over Labor’s Federal Corruption Watchdog Being A Morbidly Obese Dachshund Called ‘Mr Cheese’
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Senator for the ACT David Pocock has criticised the federal corruption watchdog, set up
BOM Warns Queenslanders That She’s Gonna Be A Fucken Stinker Out West
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The Australian Bureau of Meteorology’s leading forecasters have this week issued a stern warning to