Australia Urgently Sends Tubby Taylor To France On Diplomatic Posting As Europe Endures Brutal Heatwave
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After three consecutive days of a record-breaking heatwave in France, Australia has moved quickly to
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Melbourne Man Not Racist He Just Thinks Goodes Used To Milk Free Kicks And Wants To Deport African Teenagers
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An upper middle class third-generation Melbournite who relishes in the idea of his home city
Father-Of-The-Bride Reminds Wedding Guests That He Paid For Everything
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact According to Mark Rogers, somebody always has to pay because nothing in this world
PM Says Melbourne Losing Battle Against Groups Of 3 Or More Black Kids In Public Places
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The amount of three or more visibly African teenagers standing in public, possibly making noise or
Schapelle Corby To Be Sent Back To Prison For New Pop Song
Australians North of the Tweed are furious today as the Queenslander’s version of OJ Simpson is once again being
Local Girl Uploads 182 Photos Of Last 3 Days In New FB Album Titled ‘Twenty.Eighteen’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local 24-year-old by the name of Hannah Carey has today impressed her close
“[My 2018 Resolution] Was A Bit Unrealistic” Says Man With Burger Ring Dust In His Bed
A fine film of dust on Justin Cole’s recently purchased gym membership has signalled the beginning of the end
Corporate Drone Back At Work Already Feels Cheated
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The warm fuzzy feeling that Simon Clarke was supposed to get when his boss
Family On Annual Camping Holiday Avoid Contact With People Next Door Just Like At Home
A Betootan family holidaying on the Sunshine Coast have set the tone early with their camping neighbours today. The Andrews
“I Said Aqua Spirals You Fucken Moron. What Is This? Riverfire?” Says Local Pyrotechnician
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local pyrotechnic by the name of Braden, is currently under the pump this afternoon, ahead
Dad Spends 10 Minutes Giving Directions Despite Being Repeatedly Told It’s Up On Google Maps
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local father of four has wasted a significant amount of time today, explaining directions to
Unread Copy Of Fight Club Still Looks Cool On 19-Year-Old’s Book Shelf
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Uni student and aspiring P-plater, Arthur Wickens (19) takes great pride in the presentation of
Traveller Preps For Flight By Wearing Neck Pillow Nine Hours Before Takeoff
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT While some of us rush to get our holiday packing done, traveller Lindsey Khoury (32) prepares