Single Blokes Of Brisbane Furious As The Womanising Ekka Wood Choppers Roll Into Town

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The ruggedly good looking champions of Australia's oldest sport have arrived in Brisbane this month, primed and ready to split some hardwood.

With wallets full of prize money, these smooth talking rural axemen are as generous as they are tempestuous - and the bachelorettes of Queensland's south-east corner are lining up to be wooed.

The woodchoppers have blown into town alongside an array of equally seducative carnival ride operators, outback cattlemen and niche arts and craft maestros.

Unfortunately, this spells bad news for the local blokes that were already struggling to land a woman.

In fact, the jilted hometown boys are so filthy that this could very well result in a sequel to the 'Battle For Brisbane'. Not since the arrival of the American soldiers during World War 2 have the single blokes of Brisbane been this jealous.

The Battle of Brisbane was an incredibly violent two-night riot that took place in late November 1942, as the stationed United States military personnel clashed with the Queenslander civilians after months of hostilities between the two communities.

This war time rivalry was supercharged by cultural differences, as the Americans found the local men to be cowards for not serving - while the locals found the Americans to be overpaid and cocky.

However, the main point of tension was the fact that the Americans were getting all the girls.

Eventually, after several murders in both camps - the Australian soldiers were forced to step in to hose down the public disorder and direct everyone to get drunk elsewhere.

The event was heavily censored by Australian authorities and completely suppressed in the United States to protect the Allied war alliance - and to protect the reputation of the cuckhold Brisbane men, who not only skirted military service in the Pacific but also couldn't compete with the yanks for a root.

It has since become a chapter that the city Brisbane, particularly the men of Brisbane, would prefer to forget.

Unfortunately, the inadequacies of the local blokes appear to be once again highlighted by the arrival of some well-hung axe-swinging musclemen - as an unruly line of damsels spiral out of the woodchopping arena at RNA showground.