SA Premier Mercifully Lets Everyone Watch State Of Origin At The Pub Tonight Before Lockdown

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The South Australian Premier Steven Marshall has ordered a snap six-day lockdown of the entire state from midnight tonight as they grapple a possible second wave of the spicy cough.

Marshall said he would’ve shut them immediately if it wasn’t for tonight’s State of Origin decider in Brisbane.

“I wanted to give the people of South Australia one last night at the pub watching something they love before the lockdown begins,” said Marshall.

“After seeing so many Adelaidenese people at the State of Origin opener at the Adelaide Oval, I knew this was the right thing to do,”

“So sip your last pints of West End, splurp your last pots of Coopers tonight because you won’t be getting another one until next week. Now is the right time to get your lime and barrels, too. You don’t want to run out of barrels over the weekend and be forced to burry your dead people in the garden like a cat burrying shit. We’re South Australians, not Victorians.”

Premier Marshall then left the press conference without taking any questions.

More to come.