Road Tolls Increase Nationally This Week Because Fuck You

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In less develop parts of the nation this week, toll roads have increased in cost because fuck you. Perth and Adelaide to not have any toll roads because they are glorified country towns that are nice to visit but shithouse to live in.

Across Brisbane, the toll road increases are being spun as a way to pay for the Olympic Games and the new bus metro, so most are on board with it. Especially with public transport being effectively free and a general sense of optimism that things are on the up.

Whereas down in Sydney, taxpayers received a letter in the mail from their defacto leader Chris Minns, who failed to apologise for increasing the tolls as per indexation and said that the point is largely moot because the "disposable, transient worker ants of Sydney" will still use them regardless. Sydney is the most tolled city on Earth because they are a docile people who only show up to demonstrate in the most tokenistic sense of the word.

And down in Melbourne, where they are truely fucked from a government point of view, the tolls have increased and the people there have simply grimaced and nodded pensively, as if they indignity of living under the most corrupt government in living memory wasn't already enough. However, the government expects this increase to be offset by the great Melbourne pastime of refusing to pay for public transport.

The office of each state government has been contact for comment, none have yet responded.

More to come.