REX Revives 'Pre-Deregulation Wool Grower' Dress Code For Lounge

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The new owners of country airline REX have nodded in the general direction of Cudal this week as they reintroduce a popular tradition that was previously lost to progress.

In a leaked internal memo seen by The Advocate, it says that from 1 July this year, the REX Lounge's dress code will be updated to reflect the type of values the company wants to showcase to the nation.

Trousers must be worn at all time, no shorts or denim. Closed shoes must also be on feet without excuse. All footwear must be made of leather. No sand shoes or "sneaker-style" shoes allowed. A collared dress shirt must also be worn. No polo shirts. Men with a BMI of more than 35 will also be turned away at the door, which follows the tradition that no sheep farmer is obese, whereas morbid obesity is extreme common in cattle farmers because they spend most of their time on the couch picking lint out of their belly buttons and complaining about their knees hurting. A jacket, be it a sports-style blazer or a tailored tw0-button variety, must be on at all time. Preferably purchased from Blowes before 1991. Ties must be worn before 5pm. A decent haircut and tidy facial hair is also a requirement. No women allowed, even the cool ones. They are to remain outside with the children.

The dress code is being referred to as 'Pre-deregulation wool grower' internally by REX and entry into the hyper-exclusive Hazelton Club is by birth right. The Hazelton Club is said to make the foreign-owned Qantas' Chairman's Lounge look like a Delhi public toilet by comparison. Suspected criteria for entry includes having a panel of 70-year-old Protestant graziers from Central West NSW recognise your surname and be able to immediately place you.

The Advocate reached out to REX for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.