‘Redraw!’ Exclaims Absolute Pub Larrakin 2.5 Seconds After The First Ticket Is Read Aloud At Meat Raffle

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

The Betoota Bowls Club has been raffling meat since the time of Menzies.

Meat raffles are a fun community orientated fundraising vehicle. Before there was Go Fund Me, there was the meat raffle. 

When the cricket club needed new nets, the meat raffle cash got them over the line. When the astro-truf needed resurfacing after over a century of barefoot bowls, the meat raffle was there. 

It is also a socialised form of gambling without the grim downside of accidentally pissing away your life’s savings.

Every drink purchase earns you a ticket, additionally you can purchase one ticket for $2 or (if you’re not a complete coward) five tickets for $8.

As a pink sky descended upon the bowlo, patrons anxiously queued at the bar to scoop up a few last minute tickets before the draw.

One of those patrons is bowlo legend Dave Dixon, a plasterer by trade who treats smoko as open mic night. 

Big Dicko was no stranger to taking home the prestigious platter. 

After smashing 11 XXXX schooeys and subsequently receiving 11 tickets, Dicko didn’t mind his odds.

“Meat raffle … Five minutes!”  Screeched the little lady on the ticket till. 

A diverse crowd of families, brickies, out of towners and local heroes filled the bar area where the prize was proudly held above the bar manager's head. 

“We’d like to thank Betoota Butchers for generously donating this week's tray,” he yelled. 

A light drum roll filled the room as the bar manager reached into that sacred glass vessel. 

A hush fell over the room.

“Green … D … 9”Approximately two and half seconds passed before the known larrakin Dicko piped up.

“Redraw!” He loudly exclaimed. 

Despite having called for a redraw last week and the week before that, the line still gets a pretty good laugh. 

Before the crowd could fully embrace the well executed punchline, a hand clasping a green ticket shot up in the air. 

Soft booing filled the room. 

A pale blow in, who looked like a vegetarian had just won enough meat to make a grown grazier cry.

The crowd disappointedly dispersed into the smokers. 

“Rigged,” yelled Dicko before grabbing another XXXX

More to come.