Jacinta Allan Attempts To Fend Off Leadership Challenge With Stunning Rendition Of Melbourne Sound

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

After months of plummeting approval ratings, Jacinta Allan’s future as the Victorian premier currently hangs in the balance. 

She was reportedly given the opportunity to resign during a cross-factional delegate meeting today, but chose not to, and will now have her leadership challenged by Deputy Ben Carroll tomorrow instead. 

Though a Victorian election is just around the corner, it seems the Labor party is set on saving face between now and then as LNP continues to edge toward favourability. 

And despite recently vowing she’d fight any challenge put against her, things aren’t looking particularly good.

However, political experts suggest there is one campaign move with the potential to redeem Allan’s popularity. 

The Advocate caught up with professor of political science at Melbourne University, Dr Abraham Whitaker, to hear more. 

“When the average Australian thinks of Melbourne, there’s two main things that come to mind,” he said. 

“One is being a wanker and the other is Melbourne Sound by Matty Lincoln. I mean there’s really nothing else like it in the Australian music scene. It dominated high school house parties for close to a decade, no matter where you were in the country. Melbourne Beats was a household name and though we’ll likely never reach that point in society again, small actions can keep us on the map.”

“So what we are suggesting for Mrs Allan, is a word by word rendition of Melbourne Sound, public, livestreamed to the state. It is truly, pretty much her only hope.”

“Our other suggestion would be a 72 hour bender at Revs to prove she really is for the people.”

Whether or not Jacinta acts on such professional advice is only up to her, yet the state keenly awaits her next move. 

More to come.