ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Reserve Bank of Australia has this week confirmed it will raise interest rates for the umpteenth time, following a thorough review of the available economic levers and a decision to once again ignore most of them.
The board acknowledged in its statement that inflation had been driven in part by record corporate profit margins and expansionary government spending at both state and federal levels, before concluding that the most practical response was to make shelter more expensive.
"We looked at everything," said one board member.
"But ultimately, it's young mortgage holders who are spending frivolously in the economy that have once again ruined it for everyone."
The Colesworth duopoly and several major energy companies reported record profits again this quarter and were unavailable for comment, as was the federal government, which has increased spending by billions since last year while continuing to describe itself as fiscally responsible.
"Without profits, Australia stops," said another board member.
"We thank this Labor Government for coming around to business. It's like a Turnbull Government but with Rabbitohs."
First home buyers, who did not cause that much inflation, will now pay several hundred dollars more per month on their mortgages. Many are expected to exit the property market entirely, freeing up stock for investors who will then rent it back to them at a rate the market determines is fair.
The RBA said it remains committed to returning inflation to its target band and will continue exploring options, none of which involve inconveniencing anyone who owns something.
More to come.
