Queenslander Stunned That HR Would Accuse Him Of Homophobia For Simply Telling An Office Full Of Blues Fans To Suck His Cock

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"No but I didn't mean it like a bad thing" argues Queenslander expat, Wally Mogg (28).

"I just meant it was a bad thing to have to do it to me"

This morning's surprise meeting with HR has left Wally questioning everything, as it appears his NSW-based employers are struggling to comprehend his cultural traditions.

"Why would it be a bad thing to have to do it to you?" asks an increasingly confused HR representative from the earthmoving and construction machinery firm that Wally has spent the last two years working for as a relationship manager.

"Because they hate me. They hate what I represent" Wally says, as his eyes beam with pride.

"And what is that? What do you represent, to these people. Your own colleagues" asks HR.

Wally chuckles. She doesn't get it. Very few people in New South Wales do. They simply don't get Origin.

"They hate that I represent a winning culture. Two decades of unanswered dominance. 15 series out of 20"

The HR official, who speaks with a pronounced Eastern Suburbs accent, appears more and more lost by this tirade. But Wally is in the flow state. He's willing to educate her.

"I represent eight-in-a-row. I represent the Queensland Spirit. I represent unbridled and unimpeachable rugby league excellence"

"Beetson, Tallis, Thurston, Slater, Hunt, Gagai"

She shakes her head in complete and utter confusion.

"Fa'asuamaleaui" he reiterates.

The HR representative sighs heavily.

"Be that as it may, Wally. You cannot tell a room full of colleagues to suck your cock while giving them the rude finger"

"Even if you meant it as a good thing, or a specifically bad thing"

"That could very well be percieved as homophobic"

Wally protests.

"No but none of them are gay. Except for Ken. And he's a Queenslander. He gets it. And I wasn't saying it to him. Go bring him in here."

"He'll tell you how wrong you are about all of this"

"Plus I didn't say cock"

Wally is now frustrated that his comments have not only been taken out of context, but also appropriated.

"I told them to suck my gigantic Queensland doodle"