OH FFS: Supreme Leader Albanese's Mind Control Is Telling Man To Go To Pub And Drink 6 Schooners

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A local man is currently ruing the day he went and got the jab.

He's also ruing the day he dismissed the concerns of the neigh sayers and left his phone on at 2pm on Monday the 27th of July.

The admission comes as Greg Gregorvich currently tries and fails to fight the urge to head to the pub and drink 6 schooners before ordering a counter meal and then having another 6.

"Honestly I don't want to at all," said Greg in a monotone as his bodied dragged him towards the Kidman Hotel in Betoota's Old City District.

"And I feel like my partner is going to be absolutely filthy at me for doing so."

"But bloody Albo's mind control is telling me to go and do it."

The stunning feat of mind control has occurred just 24 hours after Greg's microchip was activated by the AusAlert and its 85 hertz frequency.

The Alert saw the majority of the sheeple turned into even more docile constituents of Supreme Leader Anthony Albanese's dystopia, with the Thought Police currently picking up any unactivated stragglers and making sure they are set to the correct wave length.

Most citizens have only felt mild effects of joy and happiness at the state of the nation's boundless prosperity, however in the case of Greg it seems like the government is dialling up the control.

More to come.