Porcelain Skinned Woman Just Wishes One Of These Influencers Would Make Rashies Acceptable Again

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A woman cursed with a complexion incompatible with the Southern Hemisphere is today sending out a lifeline to any Aussie influencers with the capacity to save her summer. 

Eva Callaghan (25) says she is sick and tired of begging her friends to leave the beach after less than an hour in the sun. 

If she could just have her shoulders covered, however, she’d at least have another 25 minutes left in her. 

That’s why Eva is campaigning for rashies to be made cool again. Unfortunately, however, it’s a touch out of her reach. So she’s calling on the big guns. 

“Rashies were once upon a time cool girl surfer chic, and for real life surfers they probably still are,” she said. 

“But for a normal girl like me, who spends most of the time on the shore beneath a massive umbrella, and then goes in and wades around for a few minutes at a time at best, it’s really just giving ‘I’m a massive dork’.”

“And I’m sorry. I know people are going to say ‘wear whatever you want girlie’ and ‘you can make rashies cool yourself!’. But I can't. I really just can't.”

“No one is going to look at me in my rashie and say, ‘wow, look at her bringing rashies back. I better go get one straight away’. It’s just not happening.”

“So please, can Tammy Hembrow wear a rashie for just one Instagram post. Or Sopha Dopha, she would fucking rock one.’

“Just one influencer in a rashie. It’s all I’m asking for. And maybe while you’re at it, maybe do a post with bright white zinc covering the majority of your face. Or not even a post, just a story.”

"That's all thanks,” she said. 

More to come.