New Gambling Advertisement Bill Written On Soft Microwaved Lettuce

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After three years of careful deliberation over how to respond to a $25 billion industry that costs Australians more per capita than anywhere else on Earth, the Federal Government has this week proudly unveiled its answer.

The legislation, drafted on a leaf of iceberg that was microwaved until limp and hot, follows the Murphy inquiry's recommendation for a full ban on online gambling advertising, a recommendation the government has honoured by doing something noticeably smaller while using the words "meaningful" and "impactful" a combined six-hundred-and-forty-four times.

The bill will restrict ads during live sport and stop retired athletes flogging multis to teenagers, while carefully preserving the industry's ability to do most of what it was already doing, just at slightly different times of day.

Communications Minister Anika Wells held the warm lettuce aloft in the House this morning, at which point it folded over her hand, broke apart and landed on the despatch box.

"This strikes the right balance," said Wells.

Betoota Heights mum Sharon Weekes, whose brother lost his house to a betting app that sent him push notifications during his bankruptcy hearing, said she was thrilled the government had acted so decisively.

"Three years," she told The Advocate.

"Three years, and they've handed us a wet salad."

The gambling lobby declined to comment as it was during daylight hours.

More to come.