New Data Reveals Spike In Number Of Australian Households Where Mum Is The Primary Spider-Killer

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A new report from Betoota University indicates spider-killing duties are befalling an unprecedented number of mothers in households across the nation. 

The trend, which has been climbing steadily since about 2017, shows up to 8 million households now rely on Mum to get rid of the creepy crawlies. 

The Advocate caught up with Tracey Huntersman, a Betoota Heights Mum of 2, who says she’s always been the primary spider-killer of the home. 

“Well actually, can you change that please, I’m more of a catch and release kind of girl,” she told our reporter, who made a quick note and attempted to proceed with the interview. 

“HA HA HA!!! TIM!!! The lady just asked me why you don’t do it!!! Can you imagine!!!!!” she called down the hall. 

“Oh God sorry that’s just too good. That’s just tooooo good. No God. He would never,”

“It really bothers me, oh sorry Tim darling, bother US I mean, when people treat this as a man vs woman thing,” she insisted, “I grew up in Queensland, on the coast by the way, and Huntsmans love it in the tropics, and he grew up in Melbourne. That’s really all there is to it.”

On the other side of town, however, local chippie Jared Squardcourt (34) says he has ‘an idea or two’ about the trend’s origin. 

“It’s obviously fucking Albo. Like doi. 94 seats majority LABOR, and all of a sudden Mum’s are the ones killing spiders,”

“This current government is eroding traditional masculine values as we speak,” he said, impressing our reporter with his atypical choice of language for a man of his kind. 

Head researcher Simon Arachnid called Squardcourt’s assumption ‘unreasonable’, and said this surge in SuperMums may very well continue into the coming decades.