WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the nation anxiously eyes off another global snotty nose, Perth is preparing to receive the first contagious particles.
This comes as the government charters a flight to Perth, to isolate the Aussies on board the viral (literally) rat ship.
Australian passengers who were on board the hantavirus-hit cruise ship are set to quarantine in Perth for at least three weeks, in what the federal government has declared a "precautionary approach" to keep the community safe.
Five Australians and one New Zealander (for some reason) will be transported to Western Australia on a government plane in the coming days and will be "immediately transferred" to a quarantine facility.
While it's hoped that this should prevent the virus from spreading across our shores, the famous propensity of Australian institutions to fuck things up, has plenty of people nervous.
"I just hope one of these contacts isn't some toey MILF isolating on her own," explained one local news consumer today.
"And we don't have a repeat of the whole Melbourne Covid hotel isolation scandals."
"Or some silver fox working some charm on a bored hotel employee."
"Or just a couple of horny employees getting bored and doing a bit of unsanitised hanky panky."
"I guess what I'm trying to say, is everyone involved in that quarantine just keep it in their pants for the next 3 weeks please."
"Please."
