Man Lays Head On Girlfriend's Tummy For Some Of That Distant WW2 Battle ASMR

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

A local man has used some downtime this week to place his earhole against his domestic life partner's stomach, which was in the act of digesting a vegan fast food burrito after a night out on the tiles.

Like all gentlemen, Toby Douglas attends his most-social after-work drinks on a Thursday because then he can be hung over on company time the next day, then be nice and fresh for his girlfriend Tania on the weekend. Except last night, he linked up with her around 9 and blew the cobwebs out at a small bar until it shut.

So they were both feeling poorly this morning, when Toby lay his head on Tania's tummy. With his ear cupping her belly button, the sound was truly deafening.

"Chirst," said Toby.

"Sounds like a war is going on it in there. I kind of like it."

There was a war going on. It sounded like someone was toweling up the Germans in there, somewhere outside El-Alamein or mopping up Japanese conscripts in Borneo with flamethrowers and Owen guns.

Tania told our reporter that yesterday, after eating a breakfast of an apple, plain yoghurt tub and a American-grey-import Marlboro Gold, she had a servo sandwich for lunch with another Marlboro and nothing for dinner.

"Probably because I didn't have any dinner," she said.

"That burrito is the most substantial thing I've eaten in three days."

Toby had already zoned out by this point, he was listening to the sickly activity going on inside Tania's digestive system. It was actually loud enough to fill the silence of the room.

"Ok, I need to get up. I need to start getting ready," she said.

More to come.