Man Exercises His White Privilege By Walking Through Customs With Gym Bag Full Of Marlboros

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Some cunt's son has arrived home from overseas this week with a carry-on bag full of Marlboro Golds which he failed to declare to customs that he had.

On his landing card, local man Fraser Brown stated that he'd been in the UK and France for the past month and he had nothing to declare, other than the best parts of England are actually outside of London's Zone 2.

He was ushered through the autogate and his checked luggage was one of the first through the chute. The 25-year-old told our reporter that despite being a pretty well-built, softly spoken and from an intergenerational elite private boarding school family, he still felt a bit nervous about smuggling smokes through customs.

"Thankfully, some Air China plane landed before us," he said.

"And you know what they're like. Every second person has a pig's head or shopping bags full of seeds or bugs. So the customs blokes were pretty spent by the time us Qantas folk were up. Anyway, we're standing in line for Customs and the bloke comes down the line and stops next to me, looks at my card and asks a few questions. Like he spots by Gullivers Sports Travel bag and asks if I've been over playing footy or something. I say yeah mate, just a little tour of clubs in France, he goes fucken beautiful. Asks me about my rugby boots, I say, mate, not my first rodeo, left them there, didn't bring them back. Fucken love my farmers, wouldn't risk bringing any of that disgusting Euro dirt back here and shit. He goes fuck yeah mate, no worries. Next thing I know, I'm walking down this side corridor and out to arrivals,"

"Fucken bang, thank you very much."

Despite not really being a smoker, Brown says he will none the less be very popular with his mates who do.

More to come.