WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A report from South Betoota Polytechnic's Anthropological Department has today confirmed a long held theory.
The 497 page paper drafted over an entire calendar year has found that lower grade suburban football (or Sokkah as it is sometimes known) is the absolute lowest form of human life.
Apart from the referees who kindly spend their time officiating over the squabble of harbour seagulls chasing a chip.
The report found that higher grades of suburban football are not great, but generally the superior skill level means there's a bit less time carrying on, and a bit more time just getting on with business.
However, the study, which saw over 2,000 games of shit quality football across the country studied, found that the carry on in lower grades is the absolute pits.
"Fuck me dead," sighed one of the researchers.
"That was the toughest year of my life watching that shit."
"God the carry on is absolutely absurd."
"Like a bunch of blokes going at it, at what is essentially a 50% pace behaving like the World Cup trophy is on the line."
"It's actually embarrassing."
"The worst are the blokes that have never played another sport."
"A lot of them carry on like pork chops and sook about literally every single element of the game."
"And treat abusing the referee as the most essential part of the game."
"Ya honestly wonder why they do it."
"Are we done? I don't wanna talk about it any more."
More to come.
