Local Woman Sheds Single Tear As Most Loyal Companion Of The Last 10 Years Finally Bites The Dust

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A woman is today mourning a close friend and trusted ally of the last decade - her claw clip. 

Quinn Wemptleton (26) says the loss of the reliable hair accessory came as quite the shock after it snapped right down the middle when she went to use it this morning. 

“I’m 26, I had it for 10 years, that’s like, what, almost a third of my life?” she said, pressing a knuckle against the corner of her eye to stop a tear. 

“I cut my hair into a lixie one year, that’s a long pixie by the way, and didn’t have any use for it for about 6 months. It was so sad.”

“That was the best day of my life when I realised my hair was finally more like a lob, that’s a long bob, FYI, and I could use the clip again. It felt like no time had passed.”

“I bought it in year 10 from some random shop in Betoota Westfield, I think it was Cosmetics Plus. Wait actually yes it was because I was getting my belly button pierced at the same time and they do really cheap piercings there.”

“Lol God that was infected for a good 6 months afterwards. Anyway. The clip. The clippppp. It was so good to me.”

“They just don’t make them like that anymore. I’ve seen them around, at chemists and two dollar shops and whatnot and they’re all just made of shitty plastics.”

“Even some of the girls who have bought the ones they sell at Cotton On tell me that those ones just snap after a few months, too.”

“This particular clip was indestructible, like an iPhone 4.”

The young woman says it will take her at least a fortnight before she’s willing to replace the clip with a random one from the pharmacy. 

More to come.