No, Short Hairy Mate Did Not Get Asked To Audition For Mr Tumnus In New Narnia Film!

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A Betoota Heights man has today thanked a group of mates for their interest in his extra-curricular activities.

"Yeah thanks for checking in, fuckheads," laughed Blake Austin, a 31-year-old sparky from our town's Ford Raptor nursery of Betoota Heights, who has faced questions about his portrayal of the C. S. Lewis character Mr Tumnus.

The retort comes after the man known for being quite short and hairy in stature, fielded a few questions about whether he would be featuring in the upcoming Narnia film.

This follows the dropping of the trailer for the magical C. S. Lewis creation, that was well overdue for the proper film treatment.

Despite the trailer not featuring the magical faun Tumnus, (Mr Tumnus to you), Austin's friends have been quite keen to learn whether he will make an appearance in the rest of the film.

However, despite sharing some of the characteristics of the Lewis creation from the Chronicles of Narnia, Austin will not be appearing in the blockbuster Greta Gerwig film - it can be confirmed.

It's alleged that his lack of performance since his Year 6 biblical play probably is the reason for that.

The fact Mr Tumnus wont actually feature in the film is another.

"He's not even in movie you fucking idiots," continued Blake who has now demonstrated he's been got in the group chat by researching the thing he was sledged on.

Hope is still being held out by the group chat that the little fella may appear in the next one.

More to come.