Local Woman Casually Tries To Figure Out If New Bloke With Hyphenated Surname Comes From Money Or Just Has A Feminist Mum

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

Three dates in and local woman Shay Reeves still hasn’t worked out the origins of new beau Jesse Marshall-Tucker’s surname. 

And not for lack of trying, she says. 

“You’d think it’d be a rather straight-forward thing. But it’s really not.”

“He did mention his family moved from England when he was little. So that has me thinking it’s probably the rich kind of hyphenated surname, like from nobility.”

“Anyway, I tried pressing him a bit about his parents, and he said they’re ‘separated’. He didn’t say ‘divorced’. So now I’m thinking, ok, maybe he has one of those mums that doesn’t believe in marriage, and decided to hyphenate her children’s surnames because why should they take the man’s last name.”

“So then I tried searching his Dad up on facebook to see if he’s just Tucker or Marshall-Tucker. But I couldn’t find anything. Which, to be fair, not having facebook gives rich vibes. So that’s another point for comes from money.”

“But I think it’s just the not knowing that’s killing me. Either way I’m winning tbh. Like rich, yes please. Feminist mum, arguably better? I’m not even going to let myself consider it could be neither.”

“I was thinking I could ask what his mum’s maiden name is but that makes it seem like I’m trying to hack his bank information. I don’t know. See there’s actually just no easy way to do this. I could ask if he had a pool at his place growing up? It doesn't rule out feminist, but it does let me know if they're rich."

Our reporter agreed that didn't seem unreasonable.

More to come.