Local Man's Plan To Stay Off The Piss This Weekend Just As Likely As Trump's Imminent Iran Peace Deal

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

Two distinct possibilities, poles apart, are today hurtling towards the same destination.

Failure.

This comes as allegations swirl that a proposed weekend off the piss for Betoota Heights man Zac Millar, and a peace deal between America, Israel and Iran both look set for the same fate.

Despite verbally committing on multiple occasions to a weekend off the sauce, sources close to Millar have revealed that the great man is destined for disaster.

"Yeah, it ain't happening," said a colleague of Millar, who has already heard multiple references to it being a nice afternoon for a beer.

"He's got a rubber arm at the best of times, and the office is going for a beer this arvo."

"And he keeps saying he's got a free weekend, which is actually the most dangerous prospect for a man trying to behave."

The allegations come a short time after US President Donald Trump claimed that a peace deal with Iran will happen this weekend.

He also claimed that the war is pretty much over - which would objectively be nice for pretty much everyone other than the military industrial complex.

Those claims came a short time after he said he would be 'hitting Iran very hard.'

However, the claims of a deal have been rubbished, with Iran laughing off the idea of America's peace deal being ratified this weekend.

That disdain for the verbal pollution emitted by the US President and Zac Millar has now lead to confirmation that both are facing the same inevitable result.

More to come.