Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
Latest news (Page 926)
Steve Smith Insists Pat Cummins Is The Actual Captain, Dismisses Comparisons To Junior Soprano
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following a soap operatic November news cycle, The Australian cricket side reshuffle is complete. Steve Smith,
Local Priest Struggling to Find Silver Lining To The Pandemic In First Draft Of Christmas Sermon
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Priest is suffering a severe case of writer’s block this afternoon,
Sensitive New Age Tradie Doesn’t Even Try To Blame The Wife For Norah Jones CD On The Dash Of His Ute
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Looking at him, you wouldn’t think local tradie Michael Lewis had a soft spot for
PM: “How Good’s Turning The Bathurst 1000 Into A Personal Branding Exercise And Getting Booed Mercilessly?”
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The knockabout bloke who moonlights at the Prime Minister says he’s feeling hard-
Gladys Not Ruling Out A Return To Taking Orders From Incompetent Old Men As A Federal Candidate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a move that show just how much shit the Australian voters are willing to put
Single Girl Reassesses Whether Jude-Law-In-The-Holiday Might Be Unrealistic Criteria For Dating
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT If you’ve watched one too many romantic comedies, chances are you’ve had a crush
Report: Hot Shower Allows Bloke To Experience His Own Fart In High Definition
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A bloke has tonight had the pleasure of experiencing his fart in high definition, after letting
Local Dad Not All That Satisfied After Mum’s Poke Bowl Experiment
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Dad is weighing up his options for a second dinner, after being
Uni Student Informs Family All He Wants For Christmas Is A Full Tank Of E10
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An impoverished university student has called in financial reinforcements this week, asking his family
Report: A Quick Look At Instagram Should Improve Your Mood
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the end of another questionably justified year begins to worm it’s way into the
Woman Seen Hastily Fleeing Date’s House After Spotting 3 In 1 Shampoo Conditioning Body Wash
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A local woman has been spotted fleeing from a bloke’s house tonight, as concerned onlookers
Influencer Forces Boyfriend To Propose At A Later Date After Being Caught Without Her Nails Done
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT An influencer has today absolutely reamed their idiot boyfriend, for having the audacity to propose when