Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
Latest news (Page 43)
England Captain Ben Stokes Criticises Inclusion Of Ray Shoesmith In Australia's Ashes Squad
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact England captain Ben Stokes has expressed outrage at what he believes to be the inclusion of
The Only Five Ways To Get Rich In Australia When You Come From Nothing
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One thing that is for certain in Australia is that social mobility ain't what
Tim Wilson Begs The Toothless Hicks And Simple Bogans Of His Party To Please Stop Hurting His Electability
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Liberal member Tim Wilson has asked the "toothless hicks" and "simple bogans"
Barnaby Treats Himself To A Cold Schooner After Once Again Forcing All 70 MPs and Senators From Both The Nationals And Liberals To Do Exactly What He Says
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Federal Opposition backbencher from rural New South Wales who refuses to confirm whether or not
Old Girl Managing Local Vinnies Has Had Enough Of These Thriftfluencers
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Vinnies store has enacted a ban on selfie sticks and vlogging microphones
Liberals Wait Until Whole Nation Is Pissed To Announce They No Longer Believe In Climate Change
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Melbourne Cup Day revellers begin drinking out of shoes and spear tackling each other in
Morning Piss From Upstairs Neighbour Only Alarm Clock Needed
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Katherina Tser (27) has been pulled from her dream of showering under a magical waterfall this
"Now Take Your Money And Fuck Off" Says Sourpuss Bookie
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local bookmaker has ended Melbourne Cup Day in a foul mood after being forced to
Brunswick Yuppie On The Verge Of Fainting In The Steam Room In Vain Attempt To Outlast Greek Senior
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT In an all too familiar scene Local Brunswick yuppie Zak Delaney has regrettably attempted the impossible,
Local Fitzroy Man Completely Shocked To Learn Salomon And Arc'teryx Are Actually Hiking Brands
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A Melbourne IT worker has made a fascinating discovery this week, when he dropped into a
Lifelong Victim Of Mob Mentality Now Regretting Pushing The Very Fine Line Of Appropriate Wasabi Dosage
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local man enjoying some sushi with friends has fallen victim to mob mentality with an
Inner City Leftie More Interested In The Race That Stops The Billionaires
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman who couldn’t give two shits about horse racing has instead turned her