In disappointing news for first home buyers, new statistics have revealed that an empty whitegoods box such as that used to hold a standard-sized dishwasher is now out of reach of most first home buyers. 

With the average Australian income just under $50,000 and the average property costing $550,000, it would take approximately fucking ages to save up a deposit and even longer to pay it off. Experts say even a twenty year mortgage could take up to two decades to pay off.  

Also of concern is the fact that although the $550,000 figure includes highly desirable properties in places like Sydney’s North Shore, Betoota or Toorak, it also includes crack dens, properties in towns you’ve never heard of, and Sydney apartments which have been condemned. 

“In recent years we have seen the housing market shift upwards in relation to incomes” explained financial advisor Maurice Candall.

“Not so long ago if a couple of newlyweds both had good jobs they could dream of living in a spacious Kelvinator box of 700L or more. If they both had a good job they might even splash out on a Simpson Clothes Drier box as an investment property.” 

“Fast forward a few years and the same couple could afford a quality imported double-corrugated Fisher & Paykel DishDrawer box. Today, they can barely afford one of those skinny Bunnings dishwasher boxes. It really is an exciting time to already have a house, like I do”. 


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