Functioning entirely off the dregs of lukewarm champagne and the thrill of a Christmas social overdose, a Betoota mother has attempted to wow yet another audience of hungry guests with some innovative menu planning.

Tossing a handful of toasted pine nuts into a large salad bowl containing the leftovers of her Christmas Day ‘Cucumber salad, The Advocate understands exhausted mother of three, Julie Adams, is attempting to whip up some magic for her next round of guests.

“I was meant to wake up at 6am this Boxing Day to get started on round two, but after feeding 18 hungry Queenslanders yesterday I’m a little tired to be honest,” said Mrs Adams.

Despite putting on a banquet that included two honey glazed hams, a slow cooked lamb, several trays of roasted vegetables and an entree of 100 homemade sausage rolls, The Advocate understands Mrs Adams was determined to impress the next lot of extended family.

“I honestly just don’t have the energy to re-chop two kilos of broccoli heads to make my famous ‘Creamy Bacon and Broccoli Salad’, so giving yesterday’s noodle number a refresh is just gonna have to do!”

“Everyone knows a ‘Chang’s Chinese Noodle Salad’ is really all about the crunch and that sweet dressing that’s pretty much liquid fairy floss.”

“Throw a few fresh pine nuts on the top, it does the trick! The cousin’s from Victoria won’t even know the difference.”

Beginning to reach the end of her tether, The Advocate witnessed Mrs Adam giving her husband Graham urgent instructions to fire up the barbeque before the Boxing Day crowd arrives.

“Graham get that bloody barbeque started!”

“We’ve got three families coming, all from YOUR side, they’ve had a long trip and will be hungry.”

“Get that four burner moving before I shove these salad tongs up your nose!”.

“And turn off that fucking Cricket!”

More to come.


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