The New South Wales state Government has announced new restrictions regarding the volume and  hours for night time Christmas carols, after roughly 345 noise complaints this week.

This comes three years after the Liberal NSW Government declared war against night trade in 2014, Berejiklian says she is impressed with the results of the prohibition-style lock-out laws against alcohol consumption and live music. She says the key was to lower foot traffic by 90%.

“The streets are definitely safer, there’s no doubt about that” she says over a late night earl grey.

“Obviously, there is still the unresolved issue of a few restaurants and ice cream stores that feel the need to play upbeat and vibrant music past 9pm in Kings Cross and Surry Hills”

“But that will go in time. The biggest concern right now is the the seasonal return of amateur Christmas carol choirs”

The Premier says this kind of anti-social behaviour is a worry in contemporary Sydney, as her entire Government depends on the sale of inner city council housing blocks to developers, who are more inclined to build high rises in suburbs that don’t have people making noise in them.

“My office is working with the nearby baby boomers who complain about the noise affecting their property value. We should have some more solid sort of legislation ready to be passed in the middle of the night by next week, I believe”

Local youth choir conductor, Frankie, says that he’s been a victim of all kinds of abuse from post-war semi-retired white people who decided to retire in the city and can’t believe they have to put up with noise.

“On Saturday night I had 53 noise complaints before 9:30pm, and went home to find the head of my prize greyhound in my bed”

“I can’t win. The police have personally told me to pack it up and move to Parramatta.”

Local Baby Boomer, Michael Potter (65), spoke to the Betoota Advocate about this issue.

“My generation never had it easy! So what if we decided to buy up four terrace houses in the middle of Sydney’s rowdiest nightstrip. I shouldn’t have to put up with noise if I don’t want to!”

“Noel, noel is a great nostalgic Christmas carol that reminds me of a more simple time before coward punches, but it really needs to be enjoyed in moderation”

“It’s interrupting my small town BBC murder mysteries”

“I’m a caucasian post-war Australian. I’ve never had to make a compromise in my life, and I don’t plan on starting now!”


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